Christmas stresses me the hell out. Let’s start there.
I feel like every year I end up rushing around at the last minute to buy gifts, terrified that I’ll spend way too much money on a bunch of poorly thought-out doodads everyone will just hate anyway.
I worry that my two kids Kyler and Monroe will LOVE the presents they get from their mom (my ex-wife), and that my gifts will quickly fall into the pile of undesirables which will be almost immediately placed in the bottom of a closet where they will remain until given to Goodwill in untouched, mint condition. Ugh.
I worry that my fiancé will get me a WAY better gift than I’ll get her, and I’ll be so riddled with shame and guilt that I’ll barely be able to enjoy my third helping of mashed potatoes and gravy. And I really worry that there won’t be enough mashed potatoes and gravy for me to have a third helping.
So, I built a Pandora Station based on this song because it’s 2014 and that’s just what we do now. And the first song that pops up is “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon. So great! A beautiful culmination of two years of anti Vietnam war protests by Lennon and Yoko, and I totally forgot about it this season. Thumbs up! Next is “Christmas All Over Again” by Tom Petty. What!?! Tom Petty made a Christmas song? And it’s phenomenal? Mind. Blown. Definite thumbs up.
All in all, I ended up giving a very enthusiastic thumbs-up to the first 10 tracks on my Waitresses (Holiday) station, and would’ve kept going, but I had to stop and finish this story.
As it turns out, I do like Christmas music. I just don’t like BAD Christmas music (I’m looking at YOU, “First Noel”).
Enjoy the holidays everyone. And, if you’re just slopping it on your plate to fill in the blank space between the turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce – take it easy on the mashed potatoes and gravy. You’re ruining somebody’s Christmas.