It’s the most wonderful time of the year…if you love holiday music, that is. If carols aren’t your jam, the last couple months of the year can be as unbearable as watching Santa Claus Conquers the Martians without hilarious commentary from the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys.
It always starts the same way. In early November, some local radio station fires the opening salvo by switching over to all “Sleighride” and “Frosty The Snowman” tunes. Department stores and online retailers jingle their bells in the background of their commercials. By the time Black Friday rolls around, the entire world has gone “Holiday”. Coffee shops are swathed in tinsel while Karen Carpenter coos about frosted windowpanes and three-quarter time; the local mall plays the 16 covers (yes, there really are 16) of that John Lennon “Happy Xmas (War Is Over) song on a continuous loop; and gaggles of kids gather on street corners to raise money for charity by singing “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Raindeer” and “Winter Wonderland.”
So congratulations on maintaining your sanity for this long! While many of us delight in our ability to bask in holiday jingles this time of year, I’m here to help all the rest of you get through to December 26th with some festive comedic relief.
You’ve got a few options to get you through the next few days.
Option #1: Retreat to your doomsday bunker, outfitted with drinking water, non-perishable food and the complete series of Dawson’s Creek DVDs. Wait out the holidays while jamming to Paula Cole‘s “I Don’t Want To Wait” and write a series of blog posts detailing the many ways the fictional Pacey Witter/Jen Lindley got your expectations way too high for real-life relationships, depending on which character you had a crush on. Skip holiday-themed episodes as necessary.
Option #2: Invest in a pair of noise-cancelling headphones and wear them everywhere. Work, family functions, parties–you never know when the holiday song earworms will strike! This solution does have a major flaw in that it will be very difficult to communicate with all the people in your life, but it’s worth it if you can avoid getting “All I Want For Christmas Is You” stuck in your head.
Option #3: Pandora’s holiday Comedy genre stations are just what you’ve been looking for. They say laughter is the best medicine (though I’m not sure who “they” are or where “they” went to medical school), and that’s just as true for holly, jolly overload as it is for eggnog-induced headaches.
Instead of playing track after track of jokes about Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice or Boxing Day, we’ve broken the holidays down into their most relatable components.
Funny Feast Comedy makes a great background for peeling potatoes, rolling out a pie crust, or basting a Tofurkey.
Ridiculous Relatives Comedy will make you appreciate that weird uncle who refuses to eat onions and makes uncomfortable topical jokes in front of your new girlfriend.
And Holiday Cruise Control Comedy lets you laugh at the best kind of travel nightmares–the kind that aren’t happening to you and your fussy 3-month old baby–while you go over the river, through the woods, and to Grandmother’s house.
Even if you’ve had more food, family, and travel than you can handle, Pandora still has you covered. Check out all of our Comedy genre stations or start a station based on your favorite comedian and discover the true meaning of “laughing all the way.”
Good luck, and happy holidays!
–Kelly (Comedy Analyst)